The Recession Is Over ...
How do I know this? Have I consulted leading economists? Have I monitored leading financial indicators? Have I polled a healthy sampling of the American public to gauge their hopefulness about the future and our economic recovery?
I have not. I have, instead, turned to a much more trustworthy, stalwart source: the "baby & child" catalog from Restoration Hardware.
But not only does the catalog provide proof that the recession is over, it also contains at least one of the most important developments in modern history. "The best idea since the Wright Brothers," the back cover proclaims. "Introducing unlimited furniture delivery starting at $95."
Oh, ho, you thought that polio vaccine was something to crow about? Wrong!
I presume that the copywriter was going for "The best idea since the Wright Brothers'," implying that unlimited furniture delivery starting at $95 is the best idea since the Wright Brothers' idea for how man could take to the skies. I presume that the copywriter was not implying that unlimited furniture delivery starting at $95 is not the best idea since Mother and Father Wright had the idea to have children. See what confusion a missing apostrophe can wreak? Respect the apostrophe, people!
But I digress. I was detailing my findings on the end of the recession.
But first, a side note: In the rosy economic future, all interiors will appear as though they were photographed on a rainy day. Every room will have a subdued quality about it that telegraphs that the contents of it are Very Expensive. And most importantly, the furnishings will clearly convey to all who see them that the parents of the children who inhabit those rooms must spend an exorbitant amount of money on upholstery-cleaning services.
Let us begin with the
What's that? You're not the Mini French Wing Chair type? Are you telling me that in an effort to appear more common?
Perhaps you think the
Of course, every child needs a bed, and of course any bed worthy of slumber has a headboard. Perhaps this
In keeping with the linen theme and the monochromatic future of economic prosperity, these
So hop to it, people. Don't let your children spend another night on Buzz Lightyear sheets in headboardless beds. Leading economic indicators are counting on you.
(Thanks to Doreen for passing along the catalogy wonderment.)